If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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