Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
