apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
