Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It's blow job season.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
