I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
