Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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