I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
