Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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