Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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