i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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