He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
