Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
either way he was missing a nipple.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
