Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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