: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
