Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
