You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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