I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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