Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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