I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
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