She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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