i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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