4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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