At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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