I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
