Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
