Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
