Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
