I think my fart just growled at me.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
