Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
