I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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