We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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