oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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