evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
