no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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