she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize