I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
