Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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