so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
