Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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