we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
