if only i could text you this smell
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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