Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
