Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
