First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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