You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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