one might say we're banned from that church
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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