Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
