The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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