He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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