Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
