apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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