I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
