There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
