Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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