Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
only if we run a train.
done.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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