My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
