on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
