She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Enjoy the penises
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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