just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
