Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize